Thursday, January 14, 2010

Warning label

OMG:

Still, that optimism, and the possibility of rising interest rates as the economy recovers, led school board member Frank Aquino to suggest that the county borrow more money by selling bonds to do needed school renovations while construction costs are also down.

"We need to invest now," he said.

Todd Snyder, another member, agreed.

"Borrow as much as you can now," he said. Basu seemed to agree, noting that Howard is among the wealthiest places in America.


In the spirit of government warnings, I offer the following for anyone who purchases HoCo muni bonds:

WARNING: HOWARD COUNTY IS A RATED AAA BOND ISSUER. THIS RATING WAS ISSUED BY A VERY PRESTIGIOUS RATING FIRM. SUCH RATING FIRMS HAVE PROVEN THEMSELVES TO BE UTTERLY F@#KING CLUELESS. THEY HAVE LOST TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR THOSE UNFORTUNATE BASTARDS WHO RELIED UPON THEIR RATINGS. WHILE PAST PERFORMANCE IS NOT INDICATIVE OF FUTURE PERFORMANCE, BE ADVISED THAT A CRACK WHORE COULD HAVE ACHIEVED BETTER PAST PERFORMANCE. THEREFORE, BONDS ISSUED BY HOWARD COUNTY GOVERNMENT MAY LOSE VALUE. IF THEY DO NOT, IT IS PROBABLY BECAUSE HOWARD COUNTY RESIDENTS ARE BEING RAPED WITH HIGHER TAXES AND ARE FORCED TO SELL THEIR CHILDREN TO RESEARCH LABS WHICH WILL CONDUCT DANGEROUS EXPERIMENTS ON THEM. YOUR ONLY CONSOLATION WILL BE THAT YOUR CAPITAL SERVED TO EDUCATE THIS GENERATION OF HUMAN GUINEA PIGS. DON'T BLAME THE RATING FIRMS WHEN YOUR PORTFOLIO BECOMES WORTHLESS, AS THE RATING FIRMS GET PAID EITHER WAY.

7 comments:

PZGURU said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FM - you have written your magnum opus! This is a hillarious classic piece of blogging genius. I am deeply amused and moved.

On a related note (about the County's stupid spending habits), I heard that the County has a new fleet of better fuel efficient (green?) buses that they got using grant money. These new buses will be as empty as the old buses as they drive around the County. The old buses apparently are slated to be sold, either to anybody who wants them or possibly at auction. What are the chances the County recoups they tax dollars pissed away on these buses????

Anonymous said...

How in the bloody hell does Basu rate the respect levels he enjoys?! That is sickening when I think about his hand in my pocket taking from my family and changing our priorities because he advised to borrow as much as possible.

What if we all did that?! Get rid of these people! They all gotta go. Incumbents, their appointees, their hand-picked committee members, stacked citizen advisory groups. They all gotta go.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of county pissing away money, what about selling real estate in ellicott city at MARKET LOWS?!! What about spending tens of thousands on school systems that do not function. And worst, the most forseeable idiocy was buying Belmont at peak prices from a developer, and selling at rock bottom.

Get these people out of office.

PZGURU said...

Basu is a blow-hard. I am so sick of everyone govt official and their mother quoting him as if he's the only person in the whole frickin' state that could offer an opinion about the economy or financial matters. His credibility is close to zero in my mind because he ALWAYS tailors his "expert" recommendations to be what the govt officials want to hear him say. He's just like any member of the oldest profession on earth.

Freemarket said...

Basu is popular b/c he is really funny. He could easily do stand up comedy as a career and live comfortably. But I agree that he is easily identifiable as someone with "yay government" leanings and I think his economic analysis basically sucks.

Anon- I wouldn't be too down on the County for selling real estate. I think RE values are still inflated and could easily drop more.

Anonymous said...

Well, FM, you have a point there. Gas is upwards of 3 bucks and last time it went as high as 4 and generated the beginning of three 700 billion dollar taxpayer bailouts.

I'm so freakin mad, I want to vote now, today.

Anonymous said...

bond issuances and raising revenue works very well...just look at jefferson county, alabama...i hope howard county steers clear.